While at NDC, Jon talks to James Mickens about his terrifying computer security keynote presentation.
TLDR you are doomed.
- (00:24) All is lost. Listen to Danzig.
- Stop putting your money in Bitcoin
- (01:00) James says it’s not a good place to put all your money unless you want to be poor.
- (01:42) Bitcoin is a commodity, not a currency. Investing in commodities is hard. It’s not a stable place to put money. When it’s going up, the smart people are taking money out.
- The legal system – and specifically Thomas Jefferson – won’t help you
- (03:56) Judges and lawyers are very far removed from modern technology. Analogies to older forms of communications doesn’t work.
- (04:44) Emojis are not telegrams. They’re incredibly terrible, though.
- (06:30) Thomas Jefferson wouldn’t help with issues relating to iPhones. If your phone broke, would you take it to a really old person for help? Because Thomas Jefferson is a really, really old person.
- The Internet of Terror
- (08:10) The internet of things is the new cool buzzword, but nobody wants to reboot their house.
- (09:17) The security story for the internet of things world is cartoonish. When your refrigerator starts sending spam, James will laugh at you.
- (11:52) The first several generations of IoT houses will be terrible. Things will get better on a relative scale, but will always be terrible on an absolute scale.
- (13:32) James knows he’s in danger for dissing Node.js, but he can’t help himself.
- (16:10) Oslo is a wonderful city. It never gets dark, which makes you feel safe but if James was a criminal he would be all over the extended working hours.
- (16:54) Shrimps are prawns, and unlike American shrimp they have legs and heads.
- (18:06) French fries cost approximately one mortgage payment.
- (19:42) James speculates on whether Oslo harbors some terrible secret. The condos look like lairs for James Bond villains.
- (21:11) Jon saw a building with a big sign that said Edderkoppen, which he had recently learned means The Spider. Perhaps that is Oslo’s terrible secret?
- Not Even Close: The State of Computer Security
- LIFE IS TERRIBLE: LET’S TALK ABOUT THE WEB – from Øredev Conference
- James Mickens profile: All hail the Galactic Viceroy of Research Excellence